There are times I think my grip on reality is somewhat tenuous… or that I just don’t care enough to internalize my reactions to the perceived irony around me. Yesterday I was in a meeting with everyone who’s involved in my project at the lab. It was two hours of talking about all of the work I’ve done and everything that’s going to come of it. To date my project will produce at least 3 papers (you need around 6 to have a good shot at becoming a professor) and it’s produced side projects that will probably become two more PhD theses (meaning my work will be the cause of two more people being able to graduate).
Mary (the Chair of Chemistry and my second boss) was going on and on about all of the papers that will be produced (3 from my project, 2 from spin offs) and how it all hinged on me finishing my work. She then turned to Patrick and said, “Good! Now we just need to figure out the biological significance and we’ll be all set!”
I started laughing and couldn’t stop. The rest of the room were looking at each other in awkward silence, because no one knew what it was I found so funny. After a full two minutes of howling laughter I managed to control myself and sighed “My life is meaningless”.
Mary blinked a few times, but is almost too used to my outbursts and then continued on with the meetings. No one inquired what I found so funny afterwards. I’m not sure if they’re just used to me, or if they actively don’t want to know.